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the charted path 
by jennifer estaris

>The Chart House, 535 S. Columbus Blvd.

OK, so you're doing one of those "cover of a romance novel" scenes with your new beau on a gorgeous November day. The gorgeous view of the river, the gorgeous view of your date's ass, and more importantly, the gorgeous view of that professional seafood restaurant up ahead (which also has a gorgeous view from inside)--"Passions at Penn's Landing" is gonna be high on Oprah's gorgeous book list.

While you may find my use of the word "gorgeous" a bit egregious, it is perhaps reflective (as is the nearby river...er, perhaps I'm stretching that one) of the restaurant itself. The endless mini-waterfalls, the lagoon-like salad bar (with massive amounts of veggies, fruities, and prepared saladies), the all-too-gregarious waiters (hi, shall I "refill" your pina colada for you?)...it's just out of hand. However, the live lobster is great, the hand-cut steaks are naturally tasty (and at these prices, they'd better be), and the oyster bar will wow you. I also enjoyed their clam chowder.

Going back to the romance novel deal. Now, this restaurant isn't really what I'd call a place where carnal happenings would occur (unless the author is very imaginative). It's slightly un-private, with huge windows designed to help those with an exhibitionist fetish. Tables are fairly close as well. There's also an option to dine outside. Worse, entrees are priced around $17-40 a pop, and with those waiter-pimps offering you more and more, you better get that fat wallet ready for display. The attire is casual, but if you feel like putting your groove on, Chart House can handle it. I'm thinking business people go here to eat. But that's not a bad thing; I mean, what other way can you impress your "hot-beneath-the-brooks-brothers" co-worker? Office relations: they be a good thing.


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